UA News

One UA law professor suggests that families take time this holiday season to talk about end-of-life decisions.

University of Arizona professor Kenney F. Hegland has the same question for students in each of his elder law courses, and the number of hands that hover in the air afterward tends to be disappointing.

“I go around the room and ask how many people have talked to their parents about end-of-life arrangements,” said Hegland, who teaches in the James E. Rogers College of Law. Too often, the answer is "'We never talk about that stuff at all.'"

If Hegland were to ask the nation’s families that same question, he would most likely have carbon copy results.

Most families, Hegland and others say, do not take the time to talk about living wills, estate planning, medical needs, hospice care and nursing homes, organ donation, obituaries and funeral arrangements until it is too late.

“Some families do talk about it, but a lot of families don’t. It’s a very unpleasant subject to talk about,” said Hegland, co-author of “Alive and Kicking: Legal Advice for Boomers.”

But Hegland, and co-author Robert B. Fleming, said now is probably one of the best times of the year for families to bring up the topic.

The nation is in the midst of one of the busiest travel times, with family and friends traveling great distances to spend time together. With families and loved ones in one place at one time, it's the perfect opportunity to bring up such issues, Hegland and Fleming say.

Having the end-of-life talk and planning early can save families time and money and prevent added distress, said the co-authors, whose book addresses these issues and a number of other concerns directly related to aging.

“The key point we’re trying to make is that you should not just think about these sort of issues – they can’t wait,” said Fleming, a Tucson attorney who has practiced in the area of elder law for 30 years.

“Make sure people know where your documents are and what your wishes are. If you do, that dramatically increases the possibility that what you want will happen,” he said. “But it’s not enough to just talk to the people you name in the documents. It’s probably more important that you talk to the people you don’t include in the documents.”

Doing so can help prevent family and others from battling over decision making privileges later on, Fleming said, adding that it is important that all loved ones know that a plan has been established and understand what that plan means.

Some may think speaking about such topics during the holiday season is a morbid way of handling family business, but that doesn’t have to be the case, Hegland said.

“We’ve found, and a lot of people have found, that once you start that conversation it really becomes a very good thing,” he said. “A lot of times there is humor in it. It need not be grisly.”